I've been thinking about my future and I honestly won't mind moving out and getting a room with room mates! I know it's Singapore and there really isn't any point in leaving my current domicile but there are many reasons that extend beyond convenience. First off, I want to do it because I can, and not in the rebellious sense. As of late, I have abandoned all my lazy ideals and been cleaning up after myself in more ways than one. Knowing that I can do this shit without persistent nagging from anyone gives me peace.....it also means I will not devolve into a hamburger-inhaling pile of sludge if I ever end up in a domicile without responsible human beings.
Next, distancing myself from my family will improve our relationship. No, I do not come from a dysfunctional family and no, I am not suffering from chronic teenage angst. The fact is that we are very different people and the only thing we have in common is that we do not give a damn about each other's lives. I do love them and I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but I honestly think that me moving out is the best option for all of us.
I also find the idea of living alone to be incredibly exotic. Sounds like a long-term vacation. Haha.
Here's a picture of my group's super cool DNA gel electrophoresis set up!!! I just had to take a picture because the container and the wires looked so wacky and childish! It's hard to imagine someone getting paid to play with this everyday.
If you've gotten past the boring shit above and finally reached this paragraph....gfy. Sigh. To be honest I haven't been sleeping well recently and to make it worse, many (pretty minor) things that shouldn't upset me but do have happened. I just feel so tired and irritable all day and the worst part is that I can't adequately describe this feeling of knowing-something-is-wrong-and-not-being-able-to-put-a-finger-to-it. And I'm tired of doing everything that I used to like doing.......I don't know. It's not like I'm depressed.....something about my life just feels really off!!! Help!!!!!
And even though I expected to fail the KI test and even brainwashed myself with "Mr Di0 will fail everyone" at least 1 week before that, I am still very upset with my KI marks!!!!!!!!! Ya I know it was a stupid little test and my reaction is very fucked up but seriously! Worst part is knowing that there are people out there with lives more f-ed up than bad grades makes me feel even worse about my overreaction. Also, I wish I could talk to someone about how screwed up my life is becoming and how I can slowly feel that everything is falling into chaos but I hate bothering others with my problems am a firm believer that people should get their shit together by themselves!!! It's really unsettling to feel this conflict between my principles and feelings so I end up trying to purge myself by attunning my mind to my version of crack: Stupidity, idiocy, and anything that does not require me to start up cognitive functions of any sort. It makes me numb and I love it. I love thinking about stupid things and having nothing to say. Sometimes, I really think it's a chore to escape from ignorance. But this is the same as falling into debauchery. I cannot allow this to continue. I will delete reddit and pull myself together. Thank you for you kind attention.
