YOYOMA BABIES

I finally realized the importance of being tall!! Other than it being a convenient attribute to have when buying groceries or living in a jungle, it also affects how others view YOU. Today, while heading home after math tuition, I GOT AMBUSHED BY A DWARF!!! No, not a person suffering from the official condition dwarfism, just a little man. Sorry to say this, but he looked like a malnourished, not-so-distant relative of Ashleigh. Also, he was a whole head shorter than me. Anyway, I was walking out of the lift when I suddenly heard some squeaking coming from somewhere, so I looked stopped, looked down, AND HEY PRESTO, THERE HE WAS!!! I think he was trying to sell me some facial coupons to fund some charity project.....but I can't remember what he said. All I could think of while he jabbered away in his widdle mousey voice was "OH YOU WIDDLE MINIATURE HUMAN IF YOU WERE ANOTHER HEAD SHORTER, I WOULD KIDNAP YOU AND LOCK YOU IN MAH CLOSET <3" HEEHEE HE WAS REALLY TINY. In the end, I politely declined and left. Perhaps if he was at least my height, I would have listened to him speak and maybe bought some coupons...but he wasnt. So too bad.

URRGGHHHHH I was super pissed when I got home because I FOUND A F$!@ING WORM IN THE NOODLES THAT MY MOM BOUGHT. IT WAS GREEN AND CURLED UP IN A FETAL POSTITION SIMILAR TO THE CORPSE OF A WOODLOUSE THAT I STEPPED ON IN VIETNAM. It was so repulsive that it took all of my willpower to stop my hand from throwing the whole plate out of the window together with the table that I ate at and my laptop which was just 3cm away. I had only taken 3 bites then, but thinking about it still makes me shudder. What if there had been a whole colony of worms that got cooked together with the noodles?! And what if their corpses had melted to resemble a piece of meat?!?! And what if..... I HAD EATEN THAT MEATY PATTY OF DEAD WORMS?!?!? *vomits* I know you're thinking that it can't be THAT bad since people all over the world eat insects, BUT MINE WEREN'T SAUTÉED WITH WINE OR TOASTED OVER A GRILL OR DEEP FRIED WITH SWEET SAUCE DRIZZLED OVER THEM. THEY WERE JUST SAD AND FILTHY LITTLE CREATURES WHO PROBABLY WANDERED INTO THE VEGETABLE BASKET IN THE KITCHEN IN SEARCH OF A SERENE SPOT FOR THEM TO WRAP THEMSELVES UP IN THEIR BUTT THREAD AND TURN INTO BUTTERFLIES. AND YET, THEY DIED!!!! THEY DIED BECAUSE THE KITCHEN HELPERS DIDN'T CLEAN THE VEGETABLES PROPERLY AND ALLOWED THEM TO GET THROWN INTO THE WOK OF DOOM!!!! THOSE BASTARDS!!!!!!!! It's really a tragic story. All the worm ever wanted was to become a beautiful butterfly
WAIT, what am I saying?!? I'M THE VICTIM HERE!!! But well, it was a blessing in disguise because mah mom bought pizza for me after I told her about the WORM. :')