Pubescent post read at your own risk!!!
OMG today we had a super disgusting and sick and vomity lecture about s3x and STDs!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was super mega gross I expected it to be normal and funny but I emphasize again, IT WAS SERIOUSLY SICK WEURGHHH I FEEL LIKE VOMITING WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. Sick why did they have to show pictures?!?!?!? I feel so scarred and traumatized WEURGHHH weurgh I'm scared of getting STDs now maybe i'll just be a virgin my whole life!!!!!! Anyway, I will never ever ever have s3x before marriage!! Even if people call you an ol' fogey, I think it's only right to wait for THE ONE. As quoted from Sherlyn's favourite manga Sukitte Ii na yo, "I'll wait until I fall deeply in love with someone special...then we can [censored]." Not that I am a pervy psychopath, but I have a lot of thoughts about this topic.
1. So gross and dumb why do people even have c@su@l s3x?!?! Are they uneducated beasts or what EVERYONE knows that there is a 99.9999999% chance of getting STDs if you do that!! And isn't s3x supposed to be done with THE ONE AND ONLY THE ONE?!? My goodness what are kids learning these days
2. My boyfriend and/or husband must be a virgin. I hope virgin boys won't be extinct in the year 2020. OMG I'm so scared of even getting married to a virgin now. What if your boyfriend isn't really a virgin?! What if you marry an unvirgin?!? What if your boyfriend/ husband really has STDs?!?!?!?!?! OMG I think I'll drag my partner to go for a blood test every 6 months just in case but he might think I don't trust him and break up with me!!!!!!! OMG EWEWEWEWWWWW I WANNA BE A BUN NUN BOOHOOHOOPHOOOO
3. Lol I like watching those dumb s3x educational videos. I MEAN THOSE WITHOUT ANY SICK PARTS. Some of the people are really stupid. I just want to shout "SERIOSLYYYY" at them when they're being so dumb. Like when dumb Li Ann's boyfriend wanted to have the thingamajig and she said "No! No!" but didn't do anything!!!! JUST PUNCH HIM OR KICK HIS ASS SERIOUSLYY. If mah boyfriend tried to do that, I'll castrate him (Loin's idea!!) and break up with him on the spot.
4. I like to read mangas with gurl protagonists who go "I'll rather die pure than [censored]!!!!!!" In Btooom!, the girl protagonist almost got r@ped by a fatass otaku guy but she screamed "I'LL RATHER DIE PURE THAN [Censored]!!!!!!!!" And activated the bomb in her hand with the intention of committing suicide!!!!!!!!!! In my opinion, it was the most touching part in the story. Of course, she survived. Since she is the protagonist and all.
To end this hormonal and smutty post, I would like to beseech all those who are reading this to SAVE YOUR V1RG1N1TY FOR THE ONE!!!!! It is one of your biggest assets, so please don't give it to some random person at the bar. FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY, HEED THIS PIECE OF ADVICE!!!!!
Your freelance s3x educator and sole proprietor of this blog,
Yunise Foo
