Dearest baby readers, I'm sorry I haven't posted in 9999754397 years!!!! But you can't blame me entirely. In army camp, we are subjected to several kinds of torture, the most painful of which is boredom. Followed by a long period of pain and fatigue known as study prep. If you look below, you can see a picture of a stressed inmate on the verge of breaking down. Even now, I am risking my life to type this on my blog for all mah dear baby readers. R.I.P.

Today's band practice was the WORST in the history of worst band practices. I sat next to Lionel as usual. But unlike usual circumstances, he smelled. Not of a sweet aromatic fragrance, but more of a sweaty plasticine 3-day-old-laundry smell, capable of causing nostril hairs to commit nostril hairicide. I'm not lying, it was even worse than when a flashy woman who soaked her body in perfume walked past me, causing me to nearly faint. Lionel's sweat was suffocating. I choked several times and had to turn my head 107 degrees to the right to avoid dying of asphyxiation. Fortunately he moved away. The end. Oh wait it's not the end!!! Leira S Gnow seriously sux!!!!! She thinks that I'm a lousy ass clarinet player!! WELL EXCUSE YOU ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE PREJUDICED AGAINST FEMALES YOU FAT COW. I seriously CANNOT stand her!! Well actually I feel quite sad. Her words are always so cutting. I know she's too uneducated to choose her words properly and she speaks without thinking but I wish she would stop being so mean. I hate people who are mean. >:( If I were a dictator I would gather all the mean people on earth and throw them into a giant bonfire in Chernobyl. That way, if they survive, they will still be deformed for lyfe!!!! HEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEE

OHYEAH!! BREAKING NEWS. When I returned to my cell after band, I found my underwear drawer open!!! I suspect the matron is a pervert.

I'm too lazy to talk about anything else. Oh And I will be going on a nighttime adventure set in the wild and untamed landscape of the great forest of Zimbabwe, so I probably won't get the chance to post as bandwidth and Singtel's reception bounces off palm leaves which are aplenty in Zimbabwean forests. So, goodbye, and please keep yourselves safe from panty-loving matrons.